And that lack of info can be especially important for women.
Remember what I said about how some guys freak out over overturned gender roles? There are many men who are profoundly uncomfortable with any sort of non-traditional forms of gender-expression whether it’s through looks or behavior, and by trying to make an overt move, women risk stepping squarely on that particular emotional landmine.
On the low end of the spectrum, some men will be profoundly turned by a woman approaching them.
To be clear, an “online dating opener” is the content of your very first message you send to a woman online. There seems to be a huge amount of concern and angst among guys about the “right” online dating opener to use. If you do them wrong, then yes, it will damage response. (Most of the openers I send, and I have tested many, are just two sentences long.) 2. Do those four things above and you’ve instantly wiped out 95% of the problems guys have with online dating openers. Therefore, as long as it’s clear that most women receiving your opener are looking at your profile, your opener is “working”.Here’s something to keep in mind: dating and approaching isn’t about taking home the gold medal in the Who Has It Worse Olympics.It’s not about “women have it worse, so suck it up and make the move”, nor is it about whose “responsibility” it is for being the aggressor.When guys insist that any woman could go out and get laid if she wanted, this actually makes it make the first move.Everything in our culture drills “men make the first move” into women’s heads.have the specter of generations of socialization and gender roles that says “men don’t like girls who are too forward” and “if you make the first move, they’ll think you’re a slut” being dropped on top of that like a 400 lb weight on a balloon full of shit.And recognizing that fact just makes it even But as it turns out, women have a good reason to be extra nervous about flaunting gender roles because…Let’s be honest: if every time a man approached a woman there was a not-insignificant chance that she was actually a gorgon, men would be a lot less likely to approach strangers. for the exact same reasons a lot of socially awkward guys don’t, but with the added benefit of social expectations working against them.(Well, with the exception of that one freakin’ munchkin min-maxer who’d be pulling the Monty Hall probability stunt every time. Not only does she have to figure out how to get over her interested and coming across as a potential Overly Attached Girlfriend ((Incidentally, Laina Morris, the face of OAG is actually pretty damn cool).maybe even stopping to give him lessons in how to get her to like him so he can do better next time. Other times they get brushed off by the men because they’re not the women those men that someone is trying to make the first move.More often than not the way women approach men they’re interested in doesn’t match up with how they picture the approach going.