But I run over like a starved dog when she calls at night.(Sadly, due to stress and overwork, I usually can't get hard when I go over.People who want out but ask for open inevitably get out in the end.
It was a reasonable assumption on her part, since swapping flirty texts with a stranger is regarded as "out of bounds" by most.But if you would have been fine with this had you known—if there was no reason for Mary to hide this LTR-of-sorts from you—the best way to prove that to her is by giving it your retroactive blessing.You're right, UITM: Mary shouldn't have hidden this from you.As for those erectile issues, SWAT, try having sex sober, earlier in the evening, and with someone who doesn't regard your dick as a consolation prize. I am a transgender man, and my girlfriend is a transgender woman, and we have hit a plateau.Intimate time is rare, communication is minimal, and although I care for her deeply, I do not like her as a person and no longer want to get married.But if the person being summoned wants more—if the summonee has unrequited feelings for the summoner—the summoned person is going to get hurt.Because what the summoner is essentially saying is this: "I want sex; I don't want you." Even if the sex is good, the rejection that comes bundled in that summons stings and the hurt grows over time.Prior to this, it never occurred to me that Mary would do anything that had a whiff of dishonesty about it.But her having kept this from me for as long as I have known her has made me question that.While this makes Mary's failure to disclose look a little worse, we live in a culture that defines absolutely everything as cheating—don't get me started on the idiocy that is "micro-infidelities" and the idiots pushing that toxic concept—and as a consequence, people not only lack perspective (oh, to live in a world where everyone regarded harmless flirtation as no big deal! What would you have done if on the third or fourth date, she looked up from her menu and said, "I've been swapping flirty texts with this guy for, oh, the last several years.) but also the language to honestly discuss our need for a little harmless erotic affirmation from someone who isn't obligated to find us attractive, i.e., not a spouse or partner. I have no interest in him in real life, we've actually never even met in person, but I enjoy his texts and would like to keep swapping texts with him.