Like why is there a 'D' in 'fridge' but no 'D' in 'refrigerator'? Because you’re causing a political uprising in my pants" "Do you work at build-a-bear?
" "Sorry, the position for Spanish teacher has been filled. Because I’d stuff you." "If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber." "You're so gorgeous that you made me forget my good pickup line." "Are you the SAT?
Cause the way you're looking at me, I'm beginning to think Jewish this dick was in your mouth." "That's a nice shirt. " "I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you." "Is your name Daisy?
Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here! Cause I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my BAE-RITTO." "Are you made out of grapes? " "If you were a flower you’d be a damnnn-delion" "Blue eyes, red lips, pale face. You look like the flag of France." "My mattress is a little hard.
*Ba dum tss* Even if dad jokes aren't your thing, you have to admit, it's pretty funny.
A bad joke is just a bad joke, but sometimes a joke is so jaw-droppingly stupid that it transcends its own awfulness and reaches a higher plane of funny.
(Major adversity, we smother in smoked meats.) Given three adjectives to describe me, most of my female friends would list “funny” as one of them.
But I maybe make a man laugh once every other month.
We’ve compiled some of the best tinder lines you’ll find on the internet - give them a shot and you may just get lucky! "I usually go for 8's but I guess I'll settle for a 10." "Does this mean I won't be a virgin by the end of the week?When it comes to Tinder, swiping right and getting a match isn’t enough!You’ve gotta create a connection with your match by breaking the ice and having an interesting conversation." "On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight? " "I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a slut instead." "You wanna know what's beautiful?" "You’re coming over tonight to watch Game of Thrones and make out." "YOU. NOW." "Before I hit on you, do you have a problem with large genitalia? Read the first word again." "Be unique and different, say yes." "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock! Because I’d love to meat you." "No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes." "Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? " "If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you." "Are you African? " "If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them." "If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?What I'm looking for at the moment is a bedroom acrobatic teacher." "Maybe you can help me. Cause I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a ten minute break in the middle for snacks." "What’s a smart, attractive, young man like myself doing without your number?I forgot the password to my account, and when I hit 'password hint,' it keeps telling me 'Jessica’s phone number.'" "Do you have a personality as attractive as your eyes? " "Want to come over to my place and watch porn on my flat screen mirror? Because you're making me hard." "Judging by your hair, you seem like a girl who likes to do anal." "Do you like Nintendo? Just take it from Redditor ojframer, who generously shared his go-to Bumble joke with the masses. We can't guarantee it will land you a date, but at the very least it will make your match crack up — so that's a start.When she collected her professor evaluations at the end of the year, she was startled by one comment in particular:“She’s not funny,” the student wrote.Mickes realized that university students didn’t seem to welcome, or even notice, the wit of many of her female colleagues. A recent graphic made by Ben Schmidt, an assistant professor of history at Northeastern University, analyzed the words used to describe male and female professors across 14 million reviews on Rate My